Remember and Regret
by Hakura0
Summary: Just a little Inu-Yasha POV while he remembers some things during a new moon...and beyond
1. Default Chapter

I don't own anything, Might be slightly AU. Warning: Memories.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Inu-Yasha walked slowly up the hill, torwards the small cliff at the top.  
  
He stood there, crossing his arms and staring as the sun began to set.  
  
He wondered why he had come back, he hadn't been to this spot in years....  
  
As the New Moon rose he felt himself change into a full human, he was restless though, and instead of standing there watching he walked off.  
  
He remembered everything that had happen, it had been 100 years since he had met Kagome, 150 since he'd been pinned to the tree, and he still hadn't changed at all. Physically.  
  
As he stared at he now dark sky insistent memories washed over him, some good and all bad, but all the ones he'd worked to forgotten.  
  
***  
  
The scene of the final battle lie before him, the four of them attacking mercilessly.  
  
They had all had another reason to kill Naraku.  
  
He had stayed hidden long enough for Miroku's dreaded nightmare to come true.  
  
Inu-Yasha had fought harder then he thought he ever had, making use of the Kame no Kizu when he had the chance and the others weren't in the way.  
  
Shippou had tried attacking but given up, hiding behind Kagome's legs as she let her arrows fly.  
  
Sango fought almost automatically, though she was fiercer then usual.  
  
No one else seemed to notice the changes in style.  
  
***  
  
He shook the memory away, hoping that the next one wouldn't be what he thought it was.  
  
***  
  
The scene when they had finally collected the whole Shikon no Tama came into play.  
  
Kagome hadn't put the last piece on yet, and was giving Inu-Yasha a look that made him uneasy.  
  
"The only reason you put up with me is to collect all the shards. You said that almost the first time we met. I think you're thoughts have changed by now, so I'm going to test you."  
  
She put the last shard in her mouth, swallowing it as Inu-Yasha gaped at her.  
  
"You'll have to choose. You can get the shard and become full demon, or you can leave it be and have me instead."  
  
***  
  
He punched the ground with his fist, hating every part of that memory.  
  
It would have been an easy choice right after he was woken up, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.  
  
He had been made weak, the one thing he hated being most, and this time without even an excuse.  
  
He stormed from the field, not wanting any more memories.  
  
They were all gone now, the whole of that group, Shippou and Kilala might still be around somewhere, but he knew they only put up with him because of Kagome and Sango.  
  
Both of them were now long gone.  
  
It had been Miroku first, then Sango, Kagome had been most recent, but about 30 years ago 40 years ago she had stopped coming.  
  
"Why do I even care?"  
  
Inu-Yasha asked himself out loud.  
  
"All Kagome was was a shadow of Kikyou and a shard detector. Sango could fight, and Kilala could too. Shippou he didn't care for, though his tricks might have helped once or twice. Miroku had been perhaps the most useful. He could fight when needed, had his wind tunnel even though it was the end of him, and conned the places into giving them food or a room by site of a 'ominous black cloud.'"  
  
He remembered one conversation they had, had while he wasn't able to use his wind tunnel.  
  
***  
  
"I suppose you shall want me to leave Inu-Yasha?"  
  
Miroku had asked, looking at him.  
  
"Why would I want that?"  
  
Inu-Yasha answered.  
  
"Because without the use of my kazaana I am of no use to you, is that correct?"  
  
He had snorted,  
  
"Yeah right Miroku, you're not getting away that easy"  
  
He said arms crossed, Miroku looked slightly surprised.  
  
"Then you mean I am simply staying because we are friends?"  
  
Inu-Yasha answered bluntly,  
  
"No. You can still fight some. You're still useful, I doubt anyone would believe it if a training Miko, a Hanyou, a Demon exterminator, a kitsune, and a nekoyoukai cam up to them and said there was an ominous black cloud hanging over there building."  
  
He gave Miroku an odd stare.  
  
"Besides, how else am I supposed to keep an eye on you so you keep that thing closed for a month and don't end up killing yourself?"  
  
Miroku had given him an odd smile, but said nothing in return.  
  
***  
  
Inu-Yasha cursed the night, wondering when it would end when he came across the Goshinboku.  
  
"I don't need these memories.."  
  
he said, cursing again, then was relieved to see that some hair that happened to be in front of his face had started going silver.  
  
A few minutes later he was staring at the tree in disgust, now fully half demon again.  
  
A part of his mind however, wondered where the other two of the group had gone, and if they were still alive.  
  
Slashing at the tree he cursed the New Moon, hating it for making him human once a month.  
  
Hating being human because it made him regret, made him weak, made him remember. 


	2. Old Friends Old Foe

Readers, readers, readers *sigh* I thought this much was easy to tell. If Inu-Yasha had killed Kagome to get the shard, would he be turning human once a month? I don't think so. See, Inu-Yasha doesn't rip apart his friends...in my fics anyway, who knows what's in the couple thousand other fics though? As for Kilala/Kirara I didn't know it would upset so many people. Everyone I RP with says Kilala, I'm going to break the habit now, and start with Kirara. I knew how to spell it, just didn't feel like it, you understand right? I'll be a good little authoress and spell it the real way now though.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"What'd that tree ever do to you?" a familiar, yet different voice called out from behind him.  
  
"Shut up, you know exactly what it did f-" he stopped, cutting himself off, and spinning around. "Shippou?" he asks, "What are you doing here?"  
  
The kitsune had definately grown from the troublesome kit that had adored Kagome. He was taller for one thing, but other then that looked remotely the same, having the same hair style and clothes.  
  
Shippou smirked at Inu-Yasha. "Trying to find you. Where've you been all this time Inu-Yasha?"  
  
The hanyou took in the voice as well as the question. Still practically the same, still tinged with a bit of the whine he's always had. "Around" he answered. "How long have you been tailing me?"  
  
"Since sunset. I saw you standing on the cliff and came to follow you."  
  
Inu-Yasha let out a small growl, that meant he had heard is babbling, he didn't say anything about it though. "What did you try to find me for?"  
  
Shippou's tail flicked, "I missed Kagome..."  
  
"So you came to bug me? Figured that would remind you of old times eh? Well I've had enough of old times for today"  
  
"You're still just a big meanie" Shippou said with a pout, something white then rubbed againsst Inu-Yasha's leg and he looked down.  
  
"Hello Kirara" he said, sitting down and petting the nekoyoukai.  
  
"She's been traveling with me" Shippou explains. "She missed you"  
  
"You two have to have a better reason then missing Kagome to come find me.. I'm not going to believe that you missed me either so spill."  
  
"Well..." Shippou started, wondering if the hanyou had read his mind. "We kinda need your help..."  
  
"I knew it." Inu-Yasha growled, "I see hide nor hair of you for who knows how long then you come running to me when you need help"  
  
"That's not the truth!" Shippous whined.  
  
"Then what is?"  
  
"We've BEEN trying to find you but we couldn't, you were to fast. We just ran into you after we'd gotten in some trouble..."  
  
"Who are you in trouble with?"  
  
"Kouga."  
  
"You can't even handle that wimpy wolf yet? He doesn't have the shards anymore either!"  
  
"Well, he has his whole pack..."  
  
"What did he want anyway?"  
  
"Kagome and the jewel shards...I told him what happened but he wouldn't believe me..."  
  
"That baka doesn't even realize that humans live alot shorter lives then youkai yet?" he asked with a growl. "How'd you run into him anyway?"  
  
"We kinda got chased through his territory..."  
  
"And you expect me to believe that you couldn't transform or fly out on Kirara's back?"  
  
"We forgot he was there!"  
  
"You seem to be forgetting alot lately."  
  
"What do you mean by that?"  
  
"When Kagome left I thought I told you that I didn't want anything to do with you anymore."  
  
"But..."  
  
"Don't but me. But if that wolf is still in denial of what happened I wouldn't expect you to accept the change either."  
  
"You just don't get it do you Inu-Yasha?"  
  
"No." he said simply, and coldly. "I guess not."  
  
Shippou was about to start talking again when another familiar figure appeared.  
  
"Long time no see Inukurro." 


End file.
